One of the gifts we got from our friend from the community is this book "Raising Wise Dads, Moms and Kids" by Grace Shangkuan Koo.
I'm not fond of reading books when I was in school. I would always go for movies or game consoles (family computer :) ) for recreation back then. Maybe when asked, what's my favorite book during that time, I can only say "Noli Me Tangere". Not because I'm into our rich history, but simply because that's the only book I read.
So going back, I wanted to focus more on the idea that in today's modern world, "Do fathers still matter in parenting?" At the start of the book, this was discussed and highlighted. And from what I learned prior to reading this, parenting's formula does not make sense in math. 50% Mom + 50% Dad won't result to 100% parenting. We need both 100% effort from Mom and Dad to make an effective 100% parenting.
"A girl's father is the first man in her life, the first she wants to love and be loved by."
It was easy to relate with Amanda. It made me think more that instead of saving up for a shotgun when her suitors start to come when she grows up, I better be there with her during her formative years and show her what a good man should be. Bad dad equals daughters getting attracted to bad boys. Good and pogi dad :) means daughter gravitating towards _____ (fill in the blank).
Below is a checklist suggested for both dad and moms to determine how involved a dad should be:
I won't discuss my answers to all the questions but one thing that struck me was number 5. When Amanda grows up, what will she remember doing with Dad? Is it the monster and zombies playtime at night? Or is it, Daddy's always busy kind of thing?
They said that time will come when kids grow up, they won't be as sweet as you want them to be. Like when you go home they have their big smile on their faces and hug you as if you were gone for years. And when they're into their tweens and teens already, they won't mind you going home late as they have their school work or just do their own thing already.
So one thing's for sure, that I want my Amanda to remember all the time daddy spent with her. That Daddy's never too busy when it comes to dressing up Elsa with the play dough, being a horse that she rides around the room, being the monster or zombie or the ginger bread man, being a Dibo while she pretends to be Bunny and just being her best friend.
I'm a technology geek, photographer, musician and a rookie dad trying out to speak my mind through writing my daily experiences as a young Pinoy dad.